I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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