We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
