We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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