I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
