Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
