My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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