they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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