Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
