Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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