dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
