last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
