Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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