goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
