Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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