why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
