Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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