One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I could fuck to npr.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
