So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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