Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
