In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
