I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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