Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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