I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize