I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
