I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
why does every cop we meet know your name?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
