Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
