I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love having hate sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
