I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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