Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who died my cat blue again?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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