I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
