The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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