when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
