Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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