Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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