I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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