I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
