Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
