I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
