I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
