Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
