A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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