I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
