We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
babies were throwing up all over the place
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
