She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
