5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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