I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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