He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
