Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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