You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
