high people should be assigned attendants
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
