We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
