Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
