her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The adults are the big ones right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
