so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I need a beard to bite.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
